Wessed Up History – 7/6/2010

* June 21, 1965: Filmmaker Larry Wachowski is born in bullet time and tries to pass it off as an original, never-seen-before event.
* June 22, 1949: Meryl Streep pops out of the womb to accept her first Oscar-shaped pacifier for Best Fetus in a Supporting Role.
* June 23, 1927: Infant Bob Fosse dances across the maternity ward with sideways shuffling and jazz hands.
* June 24: Manila Day! Is your folder suit freshly pressed?
* June 25, 1678: Elena Cornaro Piscopia is first woman to get doctorate of philosophy. Not the last such degree holder to remain unemployed.
* June 26, 1927: Cyclone rollercoaster opens on Coney Island. Umbrella sales skyrocket.
* June 27, 1966: J.J. Abrams pops out of a big red ball.
* June 28, 1997: Mike Tyson mistakes Evander Holyfield’s ear for a strip of beef jerky.
* June 29, 1920: A colorful clay Ray Harryhausen enters the maternity ward one frame at a time.
* June 30, 1985: Doctors inform Mrs. Phelps that she gave birth to a bouncing baby dolphin.
* July 1, 1908: Telegraph operators adopt SOS as distress code, replacing less respectful LOL.
* July 2, 1999: Mario Puzo gets that final offer no one can refuse.
* July 3, 1866: Danish painter Albert Gottschalk is born. It’s never quite understood why he chose breakfast pastry as a canvas.
* July 4, 1883: A hammer falls, hits lever that drops ball down steel rail, which leads to cup that dumps Rube Goldberg in maternity ward.
* July 5, 1958: A disc-shaped craft crash lands in the maternity ward. From it pops Bill Watterson and a stuffed tiger.
* July 6, 1975: A future rapper is born. The infant is known as 2 Cent at the time.

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