Wessed Up History – 5/2/2010

* April 26, 1787: Alfred Krupp explodes from mouth of cannon; lands in doctor’s arms. Upon slap says: “I have an idea…” Mother mortified.
* April 27, 1951: A big-haired baby is born in the Bronx with whiteface and silver eye makeup. Mama Frehley thinks “Ace” fits just fine.
* April 28, 1789: “It’s not you, it’s me. Well. No. It’s you. Arr!” Captain Bligh and cohorts kicked off the Bounty by mutineers.
* April 29, 1954: Spotlight shines on baby Jerry Seinfeld who asks doc, “What is the deal with those cold metal tongs you people use?”
* April 30, 1492: Christopher Columbus receives exploration commission from Spain, but gripes about lack of GPS equipment for his fleet.
* May 1, 1931: Empire State Building opens. First tenant listed: K. Kong Window Cleaning Service.
* May 2, 1536: Anne Boleyn jailed for adultery, incest, treason, and witchcraft. Head-chopping doesn’t come until the video evidence on TMZ.

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