Wessed Up History – 4/26/2010

Fell behind on posting these. Time to catch up:

* April 12, 1633: Inquisition sends Galileo a Farmville request. Failure to respond gets him arrest for life – Farmville is serious business.
* April 13, 1950: Infant Ron Perlman gets smacked on the bottom and then rasps at the doctor – “Womb…womb never changes.”
* April 14, 2007: Singer Don Ho pops his last tiny bubble.
* April 15, 1755: Samuel Johnson’s “Dictionary of the English Language” is published. Too late, printers notice it’s in Esperanto.
* April 16, 1780: Founding of the University of Munster. Grampa is headmaster. Lily teaches English. Herman kills all plants in the garden.
* April 17, 1397: Chaucer’s first telling of Canterbury Tales. King says time-traveling doctor “ludicrous beyond measure.” Demands rewrite.
* April 18, 1906: Article in L.A. Times starts worldwide Pentecostal movement. Penny Saver blurb about Scientology goes ignored for decades.
* April 19, 1949: Lawn chair pilot Larry Walters emerges balloons-first. Floats around for several minutes before doctors can catch and slap.
* April 20, 1653: Oliver Cromwell dissolves the Rump Parliament. He doesn’t do anything about the Milkshake Congress.
* April 21, 1970: Citing lack of tentacle-head dancers, Hutt River Province Principality secedes from Australia.
* April 22: Earth Day. Planet takes day off. We’re on our own for air and gravity until it gets back from Cabo.
* April 23, 1635: The first public school opens in Boston. One week later, musket detectors are added near the front door.
* April 24, 1800: Disappointed to learn Kama Sutra taken, government creates Library of Congress instead.
* April 25, 1953: Typo in report by Francis Crick and James Watson leads to description of “Double-Stuf” Helix and the First Oreo theory.

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