Home > Out and About > “You know who you look like?”

“You know who you look like?”

One bright side of a funeral for someone as well-loved as Mama Bess is that it brought together a lot of relatives who hadn’t seen each other for years. I hadn’t seen my cousins Chip and Joel for decades. We’re featured together in a photo from 1969, when Chip and I were toddlers and Joel was still an infant. The toddlers are standing on either side of Mama Bess as she’s cradling Joel in her arm. For the memorial service on Saturday, we sat together once again, watching the photo show up in the compilation that Mom put together.

After the service, back at my folks’ house, we sat on the front porch having lunch. Chip looked over at me and asked, “Do you watch Caprica?”

It pleases me to no end that I’ve got a cousin with whom I can safely geek out. He plays Dragon Age and Mass Effect. He knows what I’m talking about when we talk about computer games and science fiction.

“Sure,” I said. “I didn’t think I’d like it, but I love it. Really good show.”

“Did you see the episode a couple of weeks ago?”


“You know who you look like?”

Well, I thought, people always used to say I looked like James Spader, but he hasn’t showed up on Caprica. So it’s not him, right? Couldn’t possibly be him. I didn’t bother guessing that I looked like James Spader. It must be some other star of stage and screen lighting up the big HD screens. But who could it be? Certainly not any of the young guys on the show. I’m just too old to bank on the old “strong teen look” of my youth.

Eric Stoltz? No, I’m too tan and squat. The man looks like a ghostly beanpole with a mop of red hair on top. Maybe if I moved to the Arctic Circle, dyed my hair, never saw the light of day – then I could look like Eric Stoltz. It wouldn’t be so bad, as long as I didn’t look like Eric Stoltz in Mask.

Okay, so not Eric Stoltz. Must be someone else in the cast. Caprica hasn’t had that many episodes. I tried thinking through them, trying to wrap my brain around the possibilities. He couldn’t possibly mean any of Sister Clarice’s husbands/boyfriends. Could he? No, surely not. Probably not any of the Tauron thugs – they’re all musclebound hulks. I’m not a musclebound hulk. My dog’s more of a musclebound hulk than me, and he’s a big furry marshmallow.

The choices were dwindling. I’m not Oriental-looking, so it couldn’t be Daniel Graystone’s adviser. I don’t look like a shrewish blond woman, so that leaves out Graystone’s wife.

Esai Morales? No, I’m not nearly swarthy and rugged enough to be Esai Morales. I’ve got shoes that are swarthier and more rugged than I am.

“It was the guy Adama’s daughter went to see,” Chip said.

BOOM! Ego shot! Because the guy Adama’s daughter visited in the episode “There Is Another Sky” was a bloated Sydney Greenstreet-inspired villain named Chyron. First, I went and consoled myself with a piece of cake. Then I resolved to excavate something of the old me from inside the Jabba-ish exterior once I returned to North Carolina. I refuse to show up at the next big family gathering reminding people of a fat mobster!

  1. Bahamut
    March 25, 2010 at 7:33 am


  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: