Here are my contributions to the recent #boringprequels topic on Twitter:
* My Breakfast, Lunch, and Afternoon Tea with Andre
* Indiana Jones and the Great Gallstone Caper
* The Muppets Take Sun City
* Shaun of the Comatose
* Mall Police Academy
* Harry Potter and the Diaper Surprise
* The Year of Living Frugally
* Quantum of So-So
* Bill and Ted’s Excellent Circle K Purchase
* No Discounts for Old Men
* The Last Temptation of Christ’s Accountant
* Paralegal Activity
* One Tip-Toed Around the Budgie’s Nest
* An American Werewolf on a Desert Island
* I Know What You Did Last Summer, but Let’s Watch All 100 Hours of Camp Footage Anyway
Here are my contributions to the recent #scifibands ideas on Twitter:
* Bachman Turner Hyperdrive
* Men at Wookiee
* Green Dalek
* On the Beach Boys
* Red Dwarf Chili Peppers
* Oak Ridge Boys from Brazil
* Stray Schrodinger’s Cats
* The Dave Clark Slaughterhouse Five
* The Moody Blue Shift
* Truth or Dream Sequences
* Family Food
* Faux Pas Word
* The Joker’s While
* Wheel of Fortune Telling
* Are You Smarter Than a Cheese Grater?
* Tea or No Tea
* Ben Stein’s Mopey
* Remote Mind Control
* American Idyll
* Ten Thousand Dali Pyramid
* Cash Cabala
* So You Think You Can Trance
Here are my contributions to the recent #ingredientflicks ideas on Twitter:
* Citizen Cane Sugar
* How the Wheat Was Won
* Splenda in the Grass
* Death Becomes Herbs
* The Breakfast Clove
* Bread Dawn
* Wuthering Chives
* Capricorn Meal One
* Close Encounters of the Third Rind
* The Man With Two Grains
* Adam’s Riboflavin
* Tarragon Baby Gone
* Yeast Man
* Caper Fear
* No Country for Old Mutton
Here are my contributions to the recent #unrealplants ideas on Twitter:
* Dr. Philodendron
* Paul Schefflera and World’s Most Dangerous Band
Here were my contributions to the recent #mascotmovies ideas posted on Twitter:
* 3:10 to Gumbo
* Roary Window
* Action Jaxson de Ville
* Pat Patriot Games
* A Ragnar Runs Through It
* The Road to Sir Purrdition
* Freddie Falcon and the Boltman
* Look Who Dey’s Talkin’
* Billy Buffalogate
* June 21, 1965: Filmmaker Larry Wachowski is born in bullet time and tries to pass it off as an original, never-seen-before event.
* June 22, 1949: Meryl Streep pops out of the womb to accept her first Oscar-shaped pacifier for Best Fetus in a Supporting Role.
* June 23, 1927: Infant Bob Fosse dances across the maternity ward with sideways shuffling and jazz hands.
* June 24: Manila Day! Is your folder suit freshly pressed?
* June 25, 1678: Elena Cornaro Piscopia is first woman to get doctorate of philosophy. Not the last such degree holder to remain unemployed.
* June 26, 1927: Cyclone rollercoaster opens on Coney Island. Umbrella sales skyrocket.
* June 27, 1966: J.J. Abrams pops out of a big red ball.
* June 28, 1997: Mike Tyson mistakes Evander Holyfield’s ear for a strip of beef jerky.
* June 29, 1920: A colorful clay Ray Harryhausen enters the maternity ward one frame at a time.
* June 30, 1985: Doctors inform Mrs. Phelps that she gave birth to a bouncing baby dolphin.
* July 1, 1908: Telegraph operators adopt SOS as distress code, replacing less respectful LOL.
* July 2, 1999: Mario Puzo gets that final offer no one can refuse.
* July 3, 1866: Danish painter Albert Gottschalk is born. It’s never quite understood why he chose breakfast pastry as a canvas.
* July 4, 1883: A hammer falls, hits lever that drops ball down steel rail, which leads to cup that dumps Rube Goldberg in maternity ward.
* July 5, 1958: A disc-shaped craft crash lands in the maternity ward. From it pops Bill Watterson and a stuffed tiger.
* July 6, 1975: A future rapper is born. The infant is known as 2 Cent at the time.
These were my contributions to the recent #scorcherflicks topic on Twitter:
* While You Were Broiling
* Forest Fire Gump
* Radio Fryer
* Purple Roast of Cairo
* My Sizzler’s Keeper
* The Fifth Stove Element
* The Blast Unicorn
* The Princess Fried
* Pay It Fireward
* Blaze Runner
* Tar Story
* All the Presidents Melt
* Braising Arizona
* The Unbearable Lighter Fluid of Burning
* Fahrenheit and Away
Here are my contributions to the recent #meatflicks topic on Twitter:
* Altered Steaks
* Lean Beef on Me
* To Sirloin, With Love
* The Ham That Rocks the Cradle
* Salami Dog Millionaire
* Gorky Pork
* Brokeback Bacon
* Porterhouse Party
* Silence of the Lambchops
* June 7, 1905: Norway’s parliament dissolves union with Sweden via message that reads “You can’t a-fjord us.”
* June 8, 1933: Joan Rivers is born. Likes the snipping of the umbilical so much that she gets surgeries every day for the rest of her life.
* June 9, 1939: Dicky V’s lobbed from the womb, shouting, “Dipsy-doo dunkeroo diddle dop slam-jam-bam, pudding-pop baby!” through the net.
* June 10, 1959: Eliot Spitzer’s born late – delayed by a couple of pre-birth hookers.
* June 11, 1999: DeForrest Kelley proclaims, “He’s dead, Jim,” while waving a tricorder at himself. Then says: “I’m outta this Vulcan place.”
* June 12, 1916: An earthquake shakes the burning maternity ward as Irwin Allen rides an out-of-control jet from the womb.
* June 13, 1805: Lewis and Clark expedition discovers first Burma Shave signs along river leading to the Great Falls.
* June 14, 1938: Superman introduced in Action Comics. 1 month later: Killed. 1 more month: Lesbian. Month after that: Reborn as rich playboy.
* June 15, 1667: The first human blood transfusion is administered with a rope, catapult, and beer bong.
* June 16, 1962: Arnold Vosloo is born in mummified form, wrapped in swaddling, stuck in a sarcophagus, and left to terrify future audiences.
* June 17, 1885: Statue of Liberty arrives in New York with 2 torches, 2 tablets, and a spare tiara. Gets mugged.
* June 18, 1815: Swedish supergroup ABBA defeats Napoleon Bonaparte in Battle of the Bands with “Waterloo.”
* June 19, 1919: Movie critic Pauline Kael is born. Praises gritty realism of cinematography, but finds costumes unoriginal and uninspired.
* June 20, 1946: Bob Vila adds on a deck, fireplace, and a cupola before emerging from the womb into the maternity ward.
What I’m Reading
Blackout by Connie Willis
What I’m Playing
Warhammer 40K: Dawn of War II
You Don't Know Jack
World of Warcraft
Left 4 Dead 2
What I’m Writing
No Son of Hekayt - Book I: Artifacts
Free to download in PDF format!
Coming soon: 31 Days of OtherSpace - 1 work of fiction a day during March 2011.